


Patience is a virtue (I'm all out of time right now)

by partially_soul



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anger, Fighting, Frustration, I think he has undiagnosed depression or smth, M/M, Song Mingi-centric, Student Mingi, TA Hongjoong, actually, did I say slight angst? i think i meant just... all angst tbh, i will spell-check myself later but im too tired right now and really wanted to publish this, mingi isn't doing all too well, mingi studies classics, mingi/hongjoong is not really present, no beta we die like men, slight angst, the entire first chapter is just frustration, this boy needs a hug and then some, this is not a love-centred fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:00:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28359732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/partially_soul/pseuds/partially_soul
Summary: Mingi is not in the right headspace lately. His stubborn teaching assistent and past crush Hongjoong is not helping by sticking his nose where it doesn't belong.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Song Mingi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Patience is a virtue (I'm all out of time right now)

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically a dream I had the other day, written out and replacing the characters by Mingi and Hongjoong.

Mingi had Latin Language Proficiency class at one o’clock. He also had an appointment with the study advisor at one. He needed to talk to her as soon as possible, and this was the only available timeslot in three weeks. So here he was, skipping Latin class and looking at the door of Ms. Song’s office.

He knocked three times to announce his presence and peeked through the opening of the door. “Hello, Mingi.” She smiled and gestured for him to enter. She was old, retiring next year, and chubby. More importantly, though, She was a great study advisor. Mingi also liked her because she was one of the few people he knew that has the same surname as he had. He weakly smiled back and seated himself in the chair opposite of her.

“So,” Ms. Song said, “when you made this appointment, you stated that you came here to discuss your study progress, and for emotional support.” Mingi nodded. “Yes, I did.”

“So what is the matter?”

Mingi sighed. He found it hard to talk about it and he was nervous. He fumbled with his keys and looked down as he tried to get the words out. “I’m just… I… How do I say this? I haven’t been doing great, I guess.” He dared to look Ms. Song in the eyes. “Nothing really happened, but I’ve been frustrated with everything. I feel overwhelmed a lot and I get angry at my friends for no reason. I can’t challenge myself anymore because it always feels like too much and that stresses me out, but tasks that are simple and easy to do, I can’t get myself to do them and that stresses me out as well.”

Mingi’s voice broke and he noticed his tears welling up, but he didn’t want to cry. The room fell quiet while he took a few deep breaths and Ms. Song patiently waited for him to keep talking. When Mingi felt that he was able to continue without breaking down, he continued.

“I feel like I’m struggling with everything, and I don’t know why or how to stop it. And it’s affecting my studies. I can barely get myself to come to tutorials and lectures anymore. I only start homework when it’s too late but then the stress of the impending deadline has become so much that the stress paralyses me and I can only cry. I’m not getting good grades and that only feeds into the stress.”

He was crying now but he didn’t care. This was the first time he admitted any of this to anyone, and he trusted Ms. Song.

“So yeah, I don’t really know what to do.” Ms. Song nodded and thought about what he said for a while.

“I understand. And it’s good that you came to me. I want to help, but I fear that helping you with this is a little out of my jurisdiction, but I know someone who might be able to help.” She started to scribble down a number and a website address on a post-it note. “This is the number of Mr. Park, the school psychologist.”

“Psychologist?” Mingi whispered as he grabbed the note. “It’s not _that_ serious.”

“How long have you been struggling with these kind of feelings?”

“Maybe a couple of months.” Ms. Song only gave a weak smile as an answer. Mingi didn’t know what to say.

“I just don’t think it’s necessary to take that big a step.”

“I understand that you think of it as a really big thing, but it really isn’t. There is a big misconception that therapy is only for people who are deeply depressed. It’s not. To me, it sounds like you are in constant conflict with yourself and you don’t know how to stop it. That sounds very tiring. The university psychologist can help you figure that out, help you tackle this. One step at a time.”

Mingi didn’t have a reply for that. And he had to agree, it was exhausting. “Okay.” He simply said and he put the note with the information in his pocket.

“Now, what I _can_ help you with is your studies.” Ms. Song continued. “You said you felt overwhelmed. How would you feel about dropping one of your courses? It would give you some more space.”

“I mean, I’m not entirely happy about it. But to be honest, I’ve been thinking about it as well. It might be better to pass one course instead of failing two.”

“So let me see. You’re currently following Latin Language Proficiency 2, Ancient Philosophy and Greek Literature History, right? Which of those would you prefer to drop right now?”

“Well, Literature History isn’t my strongest suit. And really, I prefer Latin a lot more. But lately, I’ve been struggling to focus when translating a piece of text. And my current course is 90% translating. I think I would like to keep Ancient Philosophy, it doesn’t take too much time and it’s really interesting. Is it okay if I think about it a little more and then send you an email?”

“Yes of course! Then I will inform your teacher of the course you will drop. I know this might mean you will have some study delay, but trust me when I say that it will be worth it.”

“I know it will be, but I’m still disappointed in myself.”

“That will be a good thing to tell Mr. Park! Now, can I do anything else for you?” Ms. Song asked him and she looked with kind eyes at Mingi. He shook his head. “No, thank you. I have Latin Proficiency right now, so I will be going then.”

“Okay! Don’t forget to send me an e-mail, Mingi! I hope you will feel better soon. Bye!”

Ten minutes later, Mingi had arrived in Latin class. The TA, Hongjoong, was sitting in the front and had kind of glared at him when he entered. There were only three other people he didn’t know already busy with their translations. Mingi walked directly to the table completely in the back, trying to become invisible. However, when you are 6 feet tall and half an hour late to an otherwise completely silent class, you get noticed easily.

Once he sat down, he noticed Hongjoong was looking directly at him. He raised an eyebrow in question, to which Mingi shrugged in reply and started getting his stuff out of his bag.

In high school, he had been really really close to Hongjoong, who was always one year above him. At one point, he had even harvested a big crush on him. But Hongjoong had changed a lot during the years. Eight years ago, he was selfless and smart. Four years ago, it became obvious how they were not a match. Mingi was emotional, caring and emphatic. Hongjoong was mostly focused on his academics, he was very ambitious, and he had a tendency to have trouble understanding experiences that weren’t his own. Mingi needed friends that went out of their way for him, that supported him and made it clear he was appreciated. Hongjoong just wasn’t that kind of friend. They grew apart naturally. Mingi had resented him for a while, but now he understood that they were just different people. There was nothing wrong with either of them, they simply needed something else from their closest friend. But to say that he didn’t remember the hurt of all the ways his crush and closest friend let him down, would be a lie.

When Mingi walked into his Latin Profiency class for the first time, he was surprised to see Hongjoong as the TA. He knew that Hongjoong studies Classics as well, but he was in another year and the university was so big that they hadn’t ran into each other before. After the class, he had texted Hongjoong and they agreed to just keep it as TA-student. Hongjoong would treat him like he would any other student. Mingi liked that.

He layed down his book, pen, printed notes and translation notebook on the desk. He plugged in his earphones and put on his favorite playlist. He started to work on the first sentence. He soon realised that it was very long and he didn’t know half of the words. The reached into his bag to get his dictionary, but his bag was empty.

Damn it. He had left the damn book at home.

He had an online dictionary as well, but he really preferred the paper version. However, there was no other option. He sighed as he pulled up the website on his phone screen. Great, as if being late wasn’t enough.

He searched up one word, but it had five different possible meanings and he had no clue which one was the correct one. He was thinking about the correct definition, when an Instagram notification popped up. He quickly got distracted scrolling through his feed.

After a few minutes, he snapped out of it. He put his phone away and continued with the translation. He gave up on the first sentence and moved on to the next. Soon, the same problem occurred as before: he needed to look up words in his dictionary. He picked up his phone but Instagram was still open and he got distracted again. He had just liked a picture of Yunho holding a puppy when – “Mingi, what are you doing?”

Mingi almost threw his phone away in his shock. He look at the face belong to the voice: next to Mingi stood Hongjoong. He had his hands clutched behind his back and a small smile, but the rest of his face showed irritation. Mingi paused the music playing in his ears to hear what Hongjoong was trying to say.

“You’re on your phone the entire time.” He said.

Mingi blinked at Hongjoong twice. Did he just come here to give him a speech? As if he was a toddler needing to be told off?

“Excuse me?” Mingi asked Hongjoong. He popped his earphones out. “What did you say?”

Maybe Hongjoong thought it was a genuine question, and not just offended disbelief. Maybe he knew what the question really meant, but purposefully ignored that. Either way, he said; “I asked you what you are doing. You’re on your phone the entire time.”

“Yes, I know. Your point?”

“You should be focusing on the translation, not scrolling through Instagram.” Mingi blinked twice again. Did he just say what he thought he did?

“Did you look at my phone?”

“No, I saw when I walked over here. It’s a pretty recognisable website.” “It doesn’t matter.” Mingi’s frustration started to grow. He could see and hear the smugness Hongjoong was emitting and it was only fuel for the anger starting to bubble up. He really thought he was that great, didn’t he? “I’m on my phone because I forgot my dictionary, so I have to use the online version, now can you ‘help’ someone else?”

“You weren’t looking for words, though. You were on Instagram.”

“What? You want to take my phone away or something? Like we’re in high school?” Mingi laughed at the idea, but when Hongjoong only stared at him in reply, his laughter quickly died down. Wait, he really wanted him to turn in his phone?

“Well, I can’t fucking translate without the dictionary, and I can’t access that without my phone, as I just literally explained to you! But whatever, you clearly won’t get off my back so here-” He took the earphones out of his phone and grabbed it agressively, handing it to Hongjoong. “fucking have it.” Mingi was not trying to hide anger at all. He was fully aware that the other students in the room were staring at him and hearing every word that was being said. He didn’t care, he didn’t know them, if they judged him that was their problem. At least, that was what he told himself. In reality, the slight shame he felt for being blasted publicly didn’t help with the messy feeling in his stomach.

Hongjoong’s smirk as he took the phone from his own hand only infuriated Mingi more. He scoffed internally. Mingi could do without his phone. He would be _all_ good.

Mingi could not do without his phone. Not only was translating impossible – as he had told the TA – but he also had to be alone with his thoughts. A silent classroom, without music? No thanks. He wasn’t an anxious person, but he needed his music. Concentrating was already hard, let alone doing that in silence. So no, he was not ‘all good’.

He tried to write down the words that he knew on the entire page. They were not an awful lot. Definitely not enough to form coherent sentences with. It didn’t help that he couldn’t focus for more than two minutes at a time, his thoughts drifting off as he stared at the walls of the classroom. Whenever he caught himself doing it, he tried to focus back on the Latin text, and the cycle would continue.

He was getting a headache doing this, and that was not helping his current mood at all. He tried to get his water bottle out of his bag, but couldn’t find it anywhere. So he had forgotten that as well?

Mingi sighed for the umpteenth time that hour. He put his wallet in his pocket and slowly stood up. He was planning on going to a vending machine and getting a water bottle, but before he took two steps the next obstacle was already laid on his path.

“Where are you off to?”

Mingi closed his eyes and had to silently count to three. Hongjoong wasn’t worth his anger, he had to remind himself. It would get him nowhere if he snapped at him now. He opened his eyes and put his best, most obvious fake smile on.

“I’m going to get some water. I forgot my waterbottle at home. Or are you going to prevent me from fulfilling my basic human needs, too?” Okay, so maybe he did snap. Mingi could not find a single fuck to give, though.

Hongjoong pressed his lips together. “Fine.” He looked like he really wanted to tell him to sit down. Too bad.

Mingi strived the classroom out, and quickly walked to the vending machine nearby. As soon as he had a bottle of water in his hands, he took a big gulp.

“What is his problem with me?” He muttered to himself. Mingi walked back to the classroom, bottle in his hand, and sat down at his desk. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the way Hongjoong glared at him. Mingi was just glad that he kept his mouth shut.

The headache was not instantly gone, however. And once he tried focusing on the translation again, the headache-inducing cycle began. He had to supress groans because of how sick he was. If he did not JUST have a fight with Hongjoong, he would have went home already. But he felt like he had to prove himself to his TA.

“Mingi!” The man in question snapped out of his thoughts and stared at the front desk. Hongjoong didn’t even bother walking to his desk, but instead only stood up at the front of the classroom. He looked pissed.

“First, you are late to this tutorial.” Hongjoong spat out. “Not just five minutes, but a full half hour. I know that this tutorial is not mandatory, but coming half an hour late is simply disrespectful! Then, once you’re here you are only on your phone. And when I call you out on it, you get angry at ME like I’m the one that’s doing something wrong! After that, even after those two incidents you continue to be distracted and not focus on your translation. You leave class to get water, you forget your dictionary at home, you stare at the walls. Even from here, I can see that you have written down _nothing_. Why would you even come here if you don’t do shit _?_ ” Hongjoong slapped the table at the last word, making the student closest flinch.

The vein on Hongjoong’s neck looked like it was about to pop, but Mingi was sure his own veins looked exactly the same. He felt the stares of the other students as he slowly rose from his seat.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Mingi spoke at a soft volume, seeping with seething anger. “but I was late because I had an appointment that could only happen during this class. As you said yourself, this tutorial is not mandatory. Therefore, whether I’m early 15 minutes, late 30 minutes, or don’t show up at all, I don’t have to notify you for _shit’s worth._ It’s none of your business where I come and go at what times. I have no _fucking_ clue where you think you get all this ownership of me from, but I don’t care for it at all. I have stuff going on that you know nothing about all and I have NO intention on letting you in on any of it.” His volume was slowly rising, and he could see in Hongjoong’s face how terrifying he looked right now. Good.

“You are only my teaching assistant, so I am VERY curious where the fuck you get the nerve to dictate when I leave the classroom, dictate whether I’m on my phone or not, whether I’m looking at the walls or at my book. If I come here and look at Instagram for two hours, that’s nobody’s business but MINE.” He dropped his voice to a soft volume again, but he could still not contain the fury coating every single word. “Do you understand, _HongJoong?_ ” He literally spat the words out, as he unfortunately noticed some spit get on the desk.

“I’d rather you not come at all then sit here unfocused on your phone!” Hongjoong screamed at him. “And in my classroom, it IS my business what you do!”

“It literally isn’t, though! It really isn’t! Just because you help me with vocabulary and grammar, you get to know every detail about my life? If this tutorial is voluntary, if showing up is voluntary, THEN I WILL COME AT THE TIME THAT I PLEASE! ” Mingi roared. “Do you really not get that? I am a 21-year old adult, not a high school student! I pay way too much money to the university to be granted access to classroom. If I don’t pay attention, the only person that I’m screwing is MYSELF! And, and, and… that is fine, cause that is _my own_ choice! My education is only my own responsibility and I do. Not. Appreciate the fact that you’re in here poking your nose in it.” Somewhere in his rant, Mingi had started screaming.

Hongjoong was red and screamed back; “But do you not get how disrespectful it is to ME? If you had a valid reason for being late, the least you can do is notify me beforehand! Why would you just walk in and SAY NOTHING? Like it’s normal and you don’t have to explain yourselves!”

“Because I don’t owe you _any_ justification for _anything_ I do!” Mingi screamed back.

Hongjoong’s expression immediately changed. He had no reply, and Mingi could tell it was because they both knew Mingi was right. He was rendered speechless by the truth of the statement and his eyes showed his shock. Mingi raised his head a little, satisfaction somehow only putting oil on the fire in his gut.

Mingi started shoving his book and notebook in his bag. He stomped to the front desk, snatched up his phone and walked right out of the room. The only thought he had was: how did he ever have the biggest crush on this guy?

At least the decision of which course he had to drop just became a lot easier.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is where my dream ended. I hate not-happy-endings though, so I might try to write a resolving ending.
> 
> ps. Someone give Mingi a cheek smooch (also in real life), I'm sorry I did this to you sweetie :(


End file.
